I'm Not A Witch, I'm Your Wife

Hey Everybody,

So, the sun has been in Aries for a few days and the New Moon has come and gone. It was a really interesting time for me. How have you all been feeling?

This energy is really surprising. Whenever I think of Aries, I think of one of my oldest friends who is funny as hell, has a quick wit but also a hot temper. Maybe it is because both Mercury and Mars are in retrograde that the new astrological cycle feels much more gentle than it has in years. Or maybe it was always this gentle and I never noticed it before.

When I was writing out my New Moon Wishes/Affirmations, the Pisces/Aries transition was toying with me. I was thinking of an odometer going “9997, 9998, 9999, 10000, 10001, 10002…” starting fresh. It got me started thinking about how I honor new beginnings and just what it means not to end and start abruptly but to continue in a cycle.

Maybe instead of starting completely fresh, we bring what we have learned with us. This is the facet of Aries that was revealed to me for the first time. It finally clarifies to me the energy all those Aries artists are tapping into. They are bringing the wisdom of Pisces forward in a new way: a flame coming from water. It’s a gentle side of this sign that is ruled by the planet of war and the magic behind new beginnings.

I didn’t listen to music when writing wishes this month but I put on my Pandora this morning and listened to the Andrew Lloyd Webber station. What an Aries. He really exemplifies Aries to me because all of his musicals are so varied in subject: Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Jesus Christ Superstar, CATS, Phantom of the Opera, Aspects of Love. If you haven’t seen Phantom, please do. It is perfect, in my opinion. The music and story are incredible, I love the spectacle and it is razor sharp with wit. And just like an Aries, sometimes there are stinkers (Jeeves, Starlight Express, Phantom 2) but he keeps going.

Sondheim shares a birthday with ALW. I always think of him as a Pisces, but now all of his staccato notes make sense to me. It’s that Aries energy using what it has learned in Pisces.

Other notable Aries: Lady Gaga, Steven Tyler, Matthew Broderick, Emmylou Harris, Tim Curry, Marlon Brando, Harry Houdini, Ram Dass, Hayley Mills, Francis Ford Coppola

Hey guys.

Big news: It’s Pisces time. You probably already know this. Have you had any interesting dreams in the past couple of days? I have.

Last night, there was a pretty important New Moon in Pisces. The Sun moved into Pisces on Sunday and, joining Mercury, Chiron, Pallas, Vesta and most importantly, Neptune. Neptune hasn’t been in Pisces for about 146 years. This is significant because Neptune rules Pisces. So, it’s in it’s home base and is going to be there for 14 years.

Other planets are in really good position to this whole thing. We’ve got good aspects to Jupiter in Taurus, Pluto in Capricorn and Saturn in Scorpio. There was a square to Venus in Aries, which is in conjunct with Eris and a square to Juno and the Nodes. Other than some blocks you might find in personal relationships, this is an amazing time for getting in on the Pisces vibe.

Pisces keywords are music, dreams, mysticism, art, empathy, compassion, forgiveness, imagination, collective unconscious, meditation, addiction, vision. So, basically, what is being ushered in right now is a really strong period of these ideals. There is huge potential here for your healing and healing on a global scale.

You probably felt it last night (New Moons always feels so good to me) but right now is a really good time to make goals regarding these issues. Mars is in retrograde right now, allowing us to take a really good look at ourselves and make permanent and lasting changes in our lives. New Moons are the best time to make affirmations our wishes and dreams.

There are a lot of astrologers that I admire. One is Jan Spiller. She has an entire book on New Moon Wishing. She has another book called Cosmic Love which I really recommend regarding your soul’s path and how to make the most of your potential. The other astrologer I really admire is Susan Miller (@astrologyzone on Twitter). I met her recently at a day long workshop and she IS astrology. She learned astrology from her mother and she outlines your entire month over at www.astrologyzone.com which I read as soon as it becomes available on the first day of the month. Susan really has stressed how wonderful this new moon is, and I would encourage you to go check out her site and read more about the transits for your sign.

There is just so much going on right now. It’s a very spiritual time and if you are feeling like you want to plug in to whatever your heart and soul is trying to express through you, this would be a very good time to do that. Jan Spiller suggests there is a good time to write these things down every month. Today, that time would be all day, until 9:24pm EST and Thursday 9:48pm to Midnight (www.janspiller.com). The best time to write down wishes is within the first 8 hours but, you know that for next month.

If you have always wanted to be a musician, if you want to start a meditation routine, or you’re thinking of healing your past traumas, now would be a good time to do this proactively, because Pisces can really cloud us and we might try to self-medicate with drugs, alcohol, binge-eating, sex, spending, internet, ect. There is a great 21-day meditation thing through the Chopra Center right now. If you want to try it, I’m finding it really helpful. They say that if you do something for 21 days, it becomes a habit. If you’re dealing with trauma, I would recommend Peter A. Levine’s book “Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma.” And Pisces is really a boon for any artistic or mystical endeavor you are into.

It’s Ash Wednesday in the Christian world so, go big, give up something destructive and see your world change.

Hey guys.

Please don’t be mad at me.

Ok, now that we’re cool, I can tell you why I disappeared. I was trying to arrange an interview with this Capricorn friend of mine but it just kept getting delayed and delayed. Not typical for a Capricorn but typical for THIS Capricorn.

Anyhow, I know some people do look at the link to this Tumblr and I had some thoughts about Libra men today that I wanted to share.

Ultimately, I am starting this back up to start sharing thoughts/doing interviews about love and couples but I’m starting slow with that (obviously) and I’d rather just get this out. My ultimate goal: to interview the lead singer of the Flaming Lips Wayne Coyne and his wife Michelle Martin-Coyne. If you follow them on Twitter, you will know why. If not, just know it will be the pinnacle for me. It looks like he was born on January 13 (Capricorn) so I’d like to guess she is a Libra or a Capricorn herself, but I haven’t put any real thought into it.

At any rate, Libran Males. I have had a lot of experience with Libran Females and have a ton of respect for Libran Female Artists: Julie Andrews, Olivia Newton-John, Carrie Fischer, Sigourney Weaver. But, I was thinking a lot about Libran Male Artists today and realized just how influential they are, in particular, to society and trends but just how hard it is for me to define them.

Here are some of the big ones: John Lennon, Jim Henson, Eminem, Bruce Springsteen, Johnny Carson, Ed Sullivan, Oscar Wilde and Sting. !!! What a list! I mean, serious definers of art and creators of masterpieces that are widely known and accessible to all! But yet still really malleable and non-confined.

I mean, just think about how many lives Jim Henson touched. Sure, there’s Sesame Street, The Muppet Show, Labyrinth, The Dark Crystal BUT there’s also Little Shop of Horrors and Star Wars and the trailer for their next movie dropped today! Plus, Henson songs are beautiful and the material is so funny. That is amazing. And what about Sting? His work has transcended what he did with The Police and I still like both his new stuff and his old. I don’t even really have to discuss Lennon and Springsteen, you know what I mean with them. Then, Carson and Sullivan? That was definitely appealing to the masses.

So, as you can see, I’m a bit perplexed by it. I was thinking about Lady Gaga’s popularity today (Did you get your $.99 album from Amazon yet?) and how to me, it definitely reflects the Aries appeal (think Hugh Hefner) but Libran Males simply amaze me.

I’d love to hear what you think or what observations you have about Libran Males. What other Libran Male Artists have defined an artform? And can you put a name on it?

xoxo :D

Hello, hello, hello!

I was scouring my Twitter feed this morning, eating a guava/cheese danish and drinking my coffee, minding my own business, when, what do I see? John Roberts (Comedian and YouTube Superstar of “Look at the [Christmas] tree!” fame) posts this:

@JohnRobertsFun Last day or Merc in retro! See ya!

ZOMG. I totally forgot.

I didn’t forget that effin’ Mercury was still in Rx (short for retrograde). Oh, no. I’ve been living that hell since it started. I thought I was prepared. HA!

I tried to stay particularly focused to my FB and Twitter feed during this time. Like I thought I would, I saw a lot of people talking about crazy drivers out there (next time, I’m going to write them down because I can’t find them through weeks of status updates), and I observed general mayhem in my own life. One particular day was so rough that I couldn’t do anything without feeling like I was being pinched by fate after every action. I couldn’t hear people on the phone, e-mails weren’t getting delivered, and I had to give up 30 minutes early.

To top things off, we had that amazing Lunar Eclipse during a Full Moon in Gemini on the Winter Solstice. I actually got to see that right outside my window. I’m really glad that I did but I don’t think that helped with the crazy. I mean, some people are still snowed in up here.

I think this video would be the ultimate in Mercury in Retrograde craziness/Full Moon/Eclipse madness: NY’s Dumbest; NYC sanitation workers destroy a Ford Expedition http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kt_r-jO3lKE

My friend, ratskeleton, asked me this question: “How does Mercury’s being in retrograde affect those of us (I’m a Virgo) whose signs are ruled by the messenger planet?”

I think it’s a great question because all the planets, except the Sun and Moon, turn retrograde, not just Mercury. So, if you’re not a Leo or a Cancer, what happens when your ruling planet is in retrograde? Each planet will shake different things up and it also depends on what house it is in. Whenever anything is in your home sign, it will affect you more. Usually the rule is if it’s in your Sun, Moon or Rising Sign, you will feel it more.

That being said though, I am of the belief that Mercury really isn’t the ruling planet of Virgo. Linda Goodman and other astrologers believe Vulcan is and I’ve always tended to lean that way, too. It’s like the Aries/Scorpio and Capricorn/Aquarius planet discoveries. After discovering Pluto and Uranus, Scorpio and Aquarius were removed from sharing ruling planets with Aries, ruled by Mars, and Capricorn, ruled by Saturn. However, since there is a still a classical rulership by these planets, I’m sure there is some residual confusion when they go into retrograde.

I imagine Gemini Suns, Moons and Rising Signs have it hardest when Mercury goes into Rx. I mean, it happens 3-4 times a year and lasts for several weeks. Poor Twins. As if one shadow life wasn’t exciting enough. But, we all go through it. Venus Rx happens every 20 months and lasts for 40 days, Mars Rx is once every two years and lasts 80 days, and so on.

Don’t be jealous of the Leo’s and Cancer’s, though. Cancer has to deal with our beloved Moon that changes every 2 and a half DAYS. And Leo’s might be missing out on lessons that are imparted by a ruling planet in Rx. While that is not too comforting, they do have to deal with eclipses, which happen pretty regularly.

To answer my friend’s question directly: CafeAstrology suggests that Geminis and Virgos are more sensitive to Mercury in Rx than other signs. If you are not a Gemini or Virgo, whatever house your Gemini and Virgo are in may be where you feel it the most. (Great article: http://www.cafeastrology.com/mercuryretrograde.html)

The best way to deal with any rough transit that is going on is to do your birthchart (www.astro.com is my FAVORITE for free charts). After you get that information, you can do a transit chart to find out what sign and what house the situation is going to happen in. That way, you can get your affairs in order ahead of time. This is the prediction astrology type stuff and really isn’t too difficult to manage.

The most important thing is not to get too bogged down in what will be because there is the possibility to create what you imagine. If you just know something bad is going to happen, there is a really good chance the universe will create that to make you right. Say positive affirmations (search Louise Hay on YouTube; some great affirmation videos available on there) and keep your vibrations positive.

I’m so glad to be entering 2011 out of Mercury in Rx. This year had amazing ups and downs for me. I want to focus on the positives: I moved back to NYC, sold my car, met so many amazing online people IRL, including Tom Scharpling, Jon Wurster, Dave Perlis Andy Theodorou, and Julie Klausner (Hi, Julie!), was on an episode of Night People in studio, and finally, saw Stephen Sondheim speak at Barnes and Nobles in Union Square. I am so grateful for those things because they completely outshine the bad moments. I wish you an amazing 2011 and would love for you to leave something wonderful that happened to you in 2010 in the comments as a “Get out of Jail from Mercury in Rx” celebration.

xoxo

Mercury in Retrograde (MiR) is the primary reason I started this blog. I cannot emphasize how crazy this astrological period can be and really wanted to alert everybody, especially after events that affected me during two MiR’s this year. My intention isn’t to scare anyone or start paranoia because you often find what you’re looking for. I just want to raise awareness as to why your computer is taking longer to load, lines are longer at the post office, or things are crazier on the road.

Mercury usually goes retrograde three times a year but 2010 was unusual in that we entered the year under a MiR, so there were four. The term “retrograde” applies to a planet appearing to move backwards in the zodiac. So, Mercury entered Capricorn on November 30th, has been moving direct through the sign, but began to appear to move backwards towards Sagittarius on December 10th and will do so until the 30th. There will be a shadow period and a POST retrograde period that will start 1/1/11 and last until 1/17/11. Yuck.

The first time I heard about Mercury in Retrograde, I was in college and one of the directors I was working with told us about it. She was absolutely convinced of the situation and said, “Yes, Mercury is in retrograde. Things are going to be weird.” During that time, I didn’t notice anything really unusual or weird. To be honest, during many MiR periods, I haven’t really noticed anything out of the ordinary.

Until this year.

2010 was a banner year for me. I have felt the full effects of my Saturn Return (Saturn has a 28-30 year orbit; He’s the Pink Floyd task-masker of the zodiac, smacking you on the butt from ages 27-30, 58-60 and 86-88). During the first official MiR of 2010 (4/17/10-5/11/10) I was on tour with a children’s show in Kentucky. In one day, not only did our tour van break down leaving us stranded on the side of the road, when we finally got loaner cars, our car got pulled over by a cop. A couple days later, something a little more sobering happened: 4 other actors/technicians and myself almost got into a terrible car accident. The driver, a very sweet friend of mine, was not paying attention to the road and almost rear-ended the car stopped at a red light ahead of us at full speed. If it wasn’t for the only person paying attention saying, then screaming “STOP!”, it could have been very bad and the experience was traumatic.

The second MiR period that really had me reeling was just a few months ago, (8/20/10-9/12/10). As some of you know, I have moved back to NYC after living in the South for 6 years. After moving up here in July, I was subletting with a friend for July and August and had found a job with a restaurant that I really liked a lot. At any rate, Mercury went into retrograde, and that is when the ess-hit went down. I got fired for the first time in my life, sending me into a terrible depression, and I was homeless for one day after the sublet I had lined up for September fell through.

Luckily, I found a long term sublet a couple of days later but the effects of my firing are still with me. Here are the details of that situation: It was a rough day, the manager on duty did not like me. During lunch, a celebrity walks in. A handsome and friendly man who I got to serve. He was really cool and tipped me pretty well. He leaves the restaurant, then comes back. Apparently, he lost his phone and wanted to see if we had found it. We all looked, but found nothing. It quickly turned from “I lost my cell phone” to “I think someone stole my cell phone.” Not just me, but the whole restaurant. The police were called, his manager was there, it was nuts. Anyhow, my manager takes us to the back room and searches through my bag first, in the middle of the busiest part of lunch, then gropes me to see if I’m hiding it on my body.

I knew I shouldn’t have said anything but I did because I was upset that she went TSA on me. And that led to her telling me to go home for the day, and then I told her she could find someone to replace me for the next day, and after two weeks and Human Resources got involved, I ended up getting terminated. It’s their loss really, because I’m a really good server. I could have made a really big stink on Twitter but since this guy was nice to me, I didn’t really want to make a bigger deal out of it than it already was. Plus, he may still think I stole his cell phone.

So, why am I not too worried about this MiR? I am ready this time. I have spent the past couple of months really gearing up for this next one. And it already feels different. Maybe because it is in Capricorn/Sagittarius or because my Saturn Return is passing. I’m not sure but I am on guard. I don’t think we need to be afraid of MiR, I just think we have to recognize it when it’s going on and be more aware. After all, it is just an illusion. You might notice it in double FB posts or e-mails getting lost or little things that are annoying. But it affects both communication and travel, which can be a big deal during the holidays.

So, here is my Mercury in Retrograde PSA: Please be careful. Be EXTRA careful. Send your Christmas packages and cards out early. Be a little bit more patient on the phone and in your day to day dealings with others. Don’t get exasperated if you are flying (I wonder if there will be more pat down problems this holiday season than there were during Thanksgiving due to MiR?) and, FINALLY, be careful on the road! This goes beyond drinking and driving. You might not even be the bad driver, or biker. Just be careful, friends.

I would love to hear your Mercury in Retrograde holiday stories. There should be some good ones over Christmas. My wish for you is that you can come away from Mercury in Retrograde frustration with good stories, like my celebrity/phone/firing situation, and to cultivate an aura of peacefulness for yourself by the time the next one rolls around. 

If you’re reading this, you are probably visiting my Tumblelog I’m Not a Witch, I’m Your Wife. If you recognized that quote from the modern classic The Princess Bride, I applaud you. If you think I’m just being rude, I apologize and direct you to my last sentence.

The scene in which that quote comes from is when the two robbers, Fezzik and Inigo Montoya (who’s father was killed; prepare to die.) take the gorgeous and mostly dead Wesley to visit Miracle Max (Billy Crystal). After filling our hero’s lungs with air from a bellows and pushing on his chest to reveal that “true love” for Princess Buttercup is Wesley’s reason for living, Max second guesses himself and claims he heard “to blave,” or in other words, to be dishonest.

“LIAR!” A voice screams.

Carole Kane jumps out and starts screeching at Max, who yells “Get back, witch!” Her reply: “I’m not a witch! I’m your wife!”

You can watch the scene here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9tAKLTktY0

They continue to argue in that way my maternal grandparents did in their kitchen in Connecticut. It’s a fighting that only comes after years of living together, and pretty much exemplified on Everybody Loves Raymond when the elderly father, Frank, puts his fingers in his years and starts singing “I’m not listening anymore, do-dah, do-dah,” to the tune of Campdown Races, at his wife Marie.

At any rate, there are several reasons why I chose that quote as the name of my blog. The first reason is that this is a blog about astrology. I am not a witch or Wiccan, in fact I don’t even necessarily believe in astrology. I have been informally studying the subject for over 10 years in my spare time. I actually find it very difficult to convey my ideas to people about astrology, as I have mainly studied it in reference to myself.

I’m a Virgo, close to the Libra cusp, with a Capricorn moon. Virgos tend to like to dissect things, and Capricorns even more so. So, let’s just say I enjoy research. What I did was begin to examine my relationships with people to see if there were any correlations in my interactions between other people of similar signs. I read my horoscope for years and years, devoured books on astrology and learned how to decipher charts.

As my field research has shown, there ARE correlations in the behaviors of people born under the same Sun sign. I’ve seen many actions and attitudes repeated in my interactions with people and tried to begin to assess what I was learning. I have always kept an open mentality about the situation, because it could just be that a baby who was born during the summertime, who has a few months of warmth before winter rolls around, might act a different way than a baby born when it is freezing cold. I am not a fatalist. So I’m Not a Witch, I’m Your Wife will hopefully give me a little bit more of a human edge than the more psychic astrologers that are around. My knowledge is experience based and human, which makes it flawed, and subject to my angle on life.

Second, I want to continue my research of astrology mainly through examining relationship trends between the signs, particularly romantic ones. Love fascinates me. Let’s look at Max and his wife, Valerie (2 points if you knew her name). They’re old. They’re cranky. They’re not pretty but they made it. And you better believe that Wesley and Buttercup are going to be doing some of that fighting after they ride off into the sunset on two white horses after the kiss at the end of the movie. Wesley and Buttercup represent the beginning of an auspicious relationship and Max and Valerie definitely represent an auspicious relationship that has lasted.

And lastly, I think that line is funny.

I’d love to start doing interviews with couples who would be willing, either publicly or anonymously, to talk about their relationship. I kind of see this as a public service. I want to create harmony in the world, and this is one of the ways I’d like to do it: by using astrology to help us all get along better. The more you participate and comment, the more knowledge there will be. The more knowledge, better decisions, leading to happier people and more time for kissing.

Oh, and, just for fun, I’d like to throw out an archetype debate.

Wesley is an Aries, Buttercup is a Virgo, Max is a Scorpio and Valerie is an Aquarius.

Discuss! (And thanks for reading)